It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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