I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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