Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
