Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
