You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
