We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
