how can u be prego again
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
