I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
