I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
