Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
