marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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