is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
