Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
