Me. At least after what I've been through.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
