dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
