my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
