you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
