margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
