One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
