she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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