Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
