so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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