I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i think my cat just said my name.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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