Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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