i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
