Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
