everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
