Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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