I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
