All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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