I heard we made out
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
