Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
