he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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