I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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