I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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