i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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