So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
