i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
