yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
