it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
