We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
