I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
