2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
