I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
