i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
