He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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