I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
