Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
