no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
