Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
