I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
