Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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